Be a Hero – Responsibility

We were finally on our way to our vacation house. South Carolina was calling! One more stop for dinner and we would arrive in a couple of hours. We decided to eat on the road to get there before dark. We went through a drive thru, and my husband handed me the drink container with 4 lemonades. I set it down and promptly knocked over one drink with my shoe. I had a decision to make in this moment. Would I complain and try to get another drink for free? My children were watching me, and my husband was giving me an annoyed look because I had just dumped a cup and a half of sticky lemonade all over the front of his truck floor. Well, since I had been the one to spill the drink, I told the kids that this one was mine. I opened the door, swiped out the ice cubes and as much liquid as I could. When we got to the vacation house later, I took the car mat out and washed it down with soap and water from the hose. I scrubbed the rest of the truck floor where the lemonade had left a sticky residue. This mess was my responsibility, and I suffered the consequences for being clumsy and putting the drinks where they didn’t belong.

We don’t like to own up to our mistakes. It’s not fun to say I’m sorry to those we have hurt and cleaning up messes is just the pits. But this is what a hero does. A hero takes responsibility for their actions and sometimes, even for the mistakes of others. Many parents shield their children from suffering the consequences of their choices, but that kind of protection is a poor teacher. The more that we can own up to our mistakes, the better we can learn from them and not repeat them in the future.

One teen and his friend went to the public pool and saw that a door was unlocked. They thought it would be funny to go and upset all the tables and fling the trash from the trashcans all over the grass. They went home and told one of their parents about it. This dad was very upset. His first instinct was to go and clean up the mess for them. But then he remembered a parenting class he had been taking, and how he learned that the sooner teens learned to take responsibility for their actions, the better they are at understanding the consequences. He told them it was wrong, and they would need to make it right, then promptly drove them over there to fix their mistake on their own. Instead of a lecture, he gave them the opportunity to take the responsibility in their own hands while he remained in the car. Afterward, he checked their work, and was pleasantly surprised with the neat outcome. His son and friend commented that they learned more from being responsible for their impulsive mistake than from other punishments they had received in the past. (Source: How To Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk).

Kids and teens, take responsibility for more things around the house. Parents, let them! Start with chores you can handle and ask to learn more; it’s important that you launch out into responsibility. This year my 12-year-old uses a push whacker to do the trim around his grandparents’ property each week. My 10-year-old mows the grass with the riding mower every weekend. My 7-year-old helps with dishes each night. Did you know that in Japan families start to give chores and responsibilities to their children starting at age 2?!? This is possible. It does demand accountability to make sure tasks are done with excellence and completed correctly. Training is required.

Recently, my three children were starting to bug each other in the late afternoon. It was almost time to start dinner and I had several things to accomplish that evening. So, I just asked if they wanted to make dinner for the night. They excitedly said yes. After we chose what to make, they went to action and made a delicious dinner for the family. They also stopped picking on each other because they rallied around a cause to accomplish the meal. Take responsibility and you’ll find that you can do more than you think! Be a hero and rise to the challenge!